2011-Looking back on 2010 & the Past 5 Years of Married Life

January 7th,2006~ Married my best friend! Can't believe it has been 5 years already! We have gone through alot but always remain best of friends and try to show our children a loving, strong marriage; that is very important to us. December 1st 2006~ found out I was pregnant with baby #1. Joshua David was born 7/14/07 1.5years after we were married. Amelia Elizabeth was born 1.5years later, 1/10/09!!:) The past few years I have realized what is really important in life and what i want to accomplish in it. Being the best wife and parent I can be is top priority, my husband and kids come first, after God of course, a family centered around God helps tremendously in all the relationships with eachother and in raising your children to be the people you and God hope for them to be. Parenting is no easy task; It doesn't come with a rule book or How to Do book. Different things work for different people. I do know that i want to raise my kids with unconditional love, support, and encouragement, to be kind, loving, caring, respectful people and to be openminded and not judgemental on all different people and ways of life and to accept others and love them. I have learned that noone is perfect; forgiveness is key but it may not always be easy to forget. If we make mistakes, we need to learn from them and not repeat them over and over and try to be better people. There is so much hurt and pain in this world, family hurts eachother the most because we are closest to eachother, we need to not be hurting eachother and need to love eachother and treat eachother with love and kindness. I try to take my life experiences and childhood and young adulthood and learn from all of it. I have learned thing's I never would want to do or say to my children. I want them to always feel loved and appreciated and only speak kind, uplifting, encouraging words to them and not take advantage of them. Becoming a mother has really opened my eyes to alot of things and some things I just dont understand how parents can do to their own kid's. I want to work on myself this year and my family issues and issues deep down inside of me from hurtful things over the years so that I can be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter and I just want people to understand and realize I have lots of emotions about things that have never been discussed or resolved in my life and that I can't just hide my feelings and pretend everything is okay and just move on until I can work on that within myself..This will take time. I want to break a cycle and be a better person for my husband and kid's. I make alot of mistakes and know I am not perfect. My husband and in laws have shown me so much love and acceptance from the very beginning and taught me so much about family dynamics; i love watching them in their relationships with eachother and how they can talk to eachother and be so close and never go through any drama or hurtful things done or said to eachother; they love me for who i am and unconditionally and are always saying kind words about me as a mother and making me feel appreciated as I always have doubts on my parenting skills and the mother that I am; I know i need to work on my patience and frustrating moments in keeping calm and cool. I am so blessed and thankful for my husband and kids and my sister's who are always there for me and my mom who has been there more than ever since I have become a mother and she a grandma (mimi!) and she has no expectations or wanting things in return for things she does for us and the time she helps us out and watches the kids and plays with them and loves them. I know now how strong bonds are between mothers and their children. I lost some relationships with 2010 that were going in wrong directions over and over throughout the  years and I just couldnt take anymore, I love these people but I just couldnt take the hurt and pain, gossip and drama anymore..Maybe things will eventually be worked out and things will change, I know i will always have these people in my life and the kids will have them in their life..I just need time to work on things within myself I cant resolve anything with them( i have tried many times) only within myself and learn to forgive and forget and move past things and just hope the same issues dont keep coming up and that God will work in their lives as well as mine and help us all to change the way we do things and treat eachother. So thankful for my 5 years of marriage and my kids, today is amelia's 2nd birthday she has grown so fast and is so smart and i cant believe how much they have grown and how much they learn right before my eyes adn sometimes I just want to slow down time, and cherish these years and moments forever even though they are hard and full of tantrums and them learning who they are and becoming their own independent , curious little people these years are so important and i know I will miss it all as they get older!! Mommy loves you Joshua and Amelia!!!